Nightmare On Madison Street

6 04 2008

The Chicago Bulls are one loss or one Atlanta Hawks win away from eliminating themselves from the NBA playoffs.

The Hawks have the Pacers, Knicks, Celtics, Magic and Heat left on the schedule. The Bulls have the Heat, Magic (twice), Cavaliers, Bucks and Raptors up in that same span. So if the Bulls slip or if the Hawks take care of business, Chicago will hope the lottery gods smile upon them.

With all of this in my mind, I’ve been stirring a lot in my sleep. The nightmare I had last night will not help alleviate any of my latent fears.

Elton Brand is back from an injury and playing for his Clippers squad. His revival makes the Clippers front court as follows: Elton Brand, the near All-Star Chris Kaman and the devastatingly skilled Al Thornton.

That is a stacked front-court. I would be psyched if I were a Clips fan. It would be like if a fat kid not only stole a Klondike bar while the attendant wasn’t looking, it’s as if the fat kid hijacked the damn ice cream truck.

With Corey Maggette making plays out on the wing, the Hunchback Franchise of the Staples Center is just screaming for a talented, young mid-level point guard to join their ranks.

The Clippers can’t count on someone on their current roster to fill that need. Shaun Livingston’s status is still cloudy after that horrific injury. Brevin Knight is about ready to collect social security from his baby-boomer children. Dan Dickau is solid but the Clippers probably won’t be able to lean on him to run the offense.

In my nightmare, Chris Duhon spurned any of the Bulls’ advances and peace offerings. Duhon signed with the Clippers. He and fellow Dukie and former Bull Elton Brand help revive Clipper Nation, leading them to their first playoffs since Sam Cassell. What’s worse is that Chris Duhon’s career path followed Chauncey Billups in that both players peaked much later than the normal curve.

In the vein of Brand, Tyson Chandler, Bruce Bowen and Corey Benjamin, Duhon became another former Bull that found success after leaving the Windy City.

I have never been a fan of Chris Duhon but please, Chris, keep partying and hanging out at Duke. Don’t make a name for yourself because I won’t know what I’ll do. Actually, I do. I’ll probably pull a “Doug Heffernan” and spend my 403b savings on an ice cream truck.




4 responses

6 04 2008

I don’t think you have to worry about Duhon doing much else than sitting deep on someone’s bench next year!

7 04 2008

Soothing words for my soul. Thanks, brother.

11 04 2008

Honestly? I think the Bulls are better off NOT making the playoffs.

11 04 2008

Haha, I definitely follow your line of thinking. But as a fan of perennial loser franchises, I’ve started to value wins above other things. The Baby Bulls were all about potential, excitement, sex. When oftentimes, the answer is a steady diet of realism, ham sandwiches and 55% winning percentages.

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