The Shootout: Opening Week Power Rankings

Ron Artest’s hair is ready. Is yours? Season starts tonight!

1. Dunkin’ Dan Returns: Last year’s runner-up wants his panties back.
2. HEADS UP 7UP: Third place last year makes Christopher Walken horny.
3. beans&rice: I would hype this team but do I really need to?
4. Super Ballers: The three-time champ wants to prove that he’s still relevant.
5. AIR FACE 2.0: If he doesn’t win the 3PT category, I will make him sign Novak.
6. sandbox: Matt Barnes=Gerald Wallace 2.0
7. K Street Baller: CP3 has carried teams before but he can’t log into Yahoo for you.
8. TheBigFish: Amare leads a cast of versatile dudes over 6’6″.
9. TeamLouie: This team looks really versatile but do they have a strong point?
10. The Innovator: Lots of glasseaters but can they do anything else?
11. The Hop-Ons: D-Will leads a solid cast.
12. Balding Is Beautiful: Blake Griffin is a piece of shit. So much for threepeat.
13. The Avengers: Can Agent Zero stage a comeback?
14. 8===D~~~Bebe juice: OH BABY!
15. Frankenstein McHale: It’s going to be a season for the ages.
16. Jcons: D-Wade and a lot of youth.
17. Luolapalooza: Iggy and Joe Johnson lead the way but not much depth in the frontcourt.
18. Toni Kukoc: Why didn’t he pick up Aaron Gray?
19. Posers ’10: What a fitting name.
20. Team Name: Description line.